It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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