You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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