Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
