i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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