So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
