So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
