I'm going to jail i love you
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
