he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
this is an emotional support booty call
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
