Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
