I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
