I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
