I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
