HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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