Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My bed smells like the plague
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
