ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
