So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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