So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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