i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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