I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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