i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Someone came in the potted fern
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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