I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
