I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
