You made me cry and you don't even care
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
