Someone shit on the floor
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The uberlube is also flammable
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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