fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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