tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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