so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
