He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
