I just saw a hot homeless man
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
