I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
