Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You left your phone here
Wait...
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