I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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