My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
