I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize