College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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