I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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