So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize