Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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