Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
