I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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