So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
