I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
