How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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