You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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