Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
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I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
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All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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