she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
