I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
