I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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