like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The struggles of a small town man whore
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
