and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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