I seem to have left my pride at pride
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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