No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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