I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my poor anus
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
