i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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