I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
