so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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