Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
