hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was born a porn star she said
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
