Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
