I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
